nicknames
- Scott: “Dastardly Bastard’s what they call me in the streets.”
-Me: “Oh, yeah? What do they call you in the sheets?”
-Scott: “The Vanilla Tiger.”
- Scott: “Dastardly Bastard’s what they call me in the streets.”
-Me: “Oh, yeah? What do they call you in the sheets?”
-Scott: “The Vanilla Tiger.”
This just in:
the reverse mom joke.
Try it.
Scott and I just envisioned something glorious.
First, start playing this song.
Close your eyes.
[Somehow you manage to close your eyes and read this at the same time.]
Picture yourself climbing a mountain to this music.
It is raining heavily, but you don’t mind.
(Fill in the blank here… the song’s kind of long. What’s on your glorious hike? What are you thinking about to this fucking beautiful-ass song?)
Anyway. You get to the top. You drop trou. You shake your junk at the heavens, and the Universe is pleased.
Fitting, no? You may now resurface from what was probably a deeply spiritual experience.
I would cut the tits off of anyone who farted in my presence.
I just farted.
…You have to deal with that.
— Scott LeNasty Fossaroo
Scott and I are giggling over this gif of a woman punching a dick-shaped punching bag.
me: “oh, god, that’s the best thing I’ve ever seen”
Scott: “…”
me: “yeah, you’re right, that’d be pretty fucking depressing.”
Scott: “wee, feminism”
me: “…”
#two-way-streets
…. He introduced me to this band.
That’s the name of my new children’s lullaby series: ‘Soothing As Fuck.’
— Scott
I’m so aroused I just puked a little bit.
— SF
Scott’s giving me advice on how to bond with my conservative parents.
“Listen,” he says, “here’s what you do: shave off your already-shaved head, show ‘em your nipple rings and your hickey, and scream ‘Hail Satan!’”We laugh, and he drifts off in a reverie.
“Oh, that lil’ devil. What’re you gonna do, ‘cept praise him?”
Man, ghosts are pussies.
— SF (via emmettforever)
